Tag Archives: Cordelia

Money tips from Anya of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“I’m just so excited. They come in, I help them, they give us money in exchange for goods, you give me money for working for you. I have a place in the world now. I’m part of the system. I’m a workin’ gal.” – Anya (Season Five).

If you ever watched the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then you must have noticed Anya and her fixation on money.  You probably also noticed she changed her hair style… A LOT.

The show ran for seven seasons and was created by Joss Whedon.

The self-proclaimed Scooby Gang 

It started in the nineties and ended in 2003. It starred Sarah Michelle Gellar as the titular character, Buffy Summers. In my opinion, the first four seasons were on fire. The fourth was the absolute best one, to me. This is the only television show I have ever seen where when I finished watching one particular episode; I clapped. It was just that good.

Actress Emma Caulfield played Anya. In this reunion photo of the cast from 2008, she is the one  in the middle wearing the black hat.

ANYA’S BACKGROUND

Other Aliases: Anyanka, Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins, “The Patron Saint of Women Scorned,” Aud ; note that some sources refer to her as “Anya Emerson,” but that has not been confirmed in the show.

Birthdate: July 4th

Age: 1120

Anya: “What a day. Give me a beer.”
Bartender: “I.D.”
Anya: (glares)
Bartender: “I.D.”
Anya: “I’m 1120 years old, just give me a frigging beer!”
Bartender: “I.D.”
Anya: (sighs) “Give me a Coke.”

Year of birth: Unknown?? Around 880 AD

Marital Status: Single, formerly Engaged.

Known Relatives: Olaf (ex-husband), Alexander Harris (ex-fiancée).

Here is a short introduction to the comic stylings of Anya

Before we go any further on Anya and her love of capitalism, you should know she did not start on the show’s first season. She came along in season 3. In an episode titled, “The Wish.”

Below you will find out more about Anya and her love of money.

But first…

The star of the show. Buffy Summers.

This is, as the say in the film John Wick, a tasting of Buffy and what she does.

She’s awesome right.

Now, back to Anya.

One thing I could not get over was whenever Anya’s lips were moving, it was in your face truthfulness. Not the norm. Especially, her fascination with money.

What made her so funny was her greedy, materialistic, money hungry, capitalism-loving ways.

While Anya may have lacked tact, she had a way with words that really hit home. She was ridiculously straight-forward and honest. In some ways it was refreshing, but in others it was downright rude.

However, love it or hate it, she would tell people like it was. Anya was blunt. She kept it💯.

She had lots of witticisms.

Here we go.

WORK FOR THE MONEY, HONEY

Anya: “Thank you for coming. We value your patronage. Please come again for more purchases!”
Giles: “Could we perhaps be a little less effusive, Anya? We don’t want to frighten the people.”
Anya: “I’m just so excited. They come in, I help them, they give us money in exchange for goods, you give me money for working for you. I have a place in the world now. I’m part of the system. I’m a workin’ gal.”
Giles: “Yes. Well, why don’t you start organizing the shipping orders?”
Anya: “Oh, no, that’s boring. I just want to do the money parts.”

She tells it like it is. Anya never shied away from making a bold statement. She always said what she wanted. I have learned to do the same, but tactfully.

ANYA ON CUSTOMER SERVICE 

“Anyathe Shopkeepers‘ Union of America called. They want me to tell you that “Please go away” just got replaced with “Have a nice day.” – Xander

Anya says to customers, “Please go.” And Xander tells her the correct way to talk to patrons.

She then proceeds to yell at the next customer in a harsh, sarcastic tone, “Hey, you! Have a nice day.

Just a thought, it is nice to be courteous and pleasant if you want people’s patronage. Maybe, like this, but a little toned down.

They want me to tell you that "Please go" just got replaced with "Have a nice day".

http://awbuckyno.tumblr.com/post/78124077317

Anya: “Please go.”
Xander: “Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called. They want me to tell you that ‘Please go’ just got replaced with ‘Have a nice day.'”
Anya: “But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?”

She is also very protective of the money and the cash register.

“Ring up sales? With the money? She gets to fondle the money? Customer! Hello, customer! How may I serve you?”

SLAY FOR MONEY

At one point, when Buffy was hard up for money, Anya suggested they she start charging for her vampire slaying. A vengeance for cash. A slayer for hire.

While it was good for a laugh on the show, her thinking was flawed, but accurate. If you are good at something and going to do it anyway, why not get paid for it.

ANYA ON CELEBRATING EARNING AND MAKING MONEY

“All I can say is, I hope we make as much tomorrow.”

She took pleasure in the little things.

Dance of Capitalist Superiority. Episode 6. Season 6: All the Way. Original Airdate October 30, 2001.

http://sarahwalker.tumblr.com/post/91328105006

See the video here.

I like to celebrate my wins and accomplishments too. They may not involve money dancing, but I like to recognize a job well-done.

Money is just a tool. It’s how we keep score. Money is the scorecard. That’s all.

I don’t have to celebrate with a $300 purse or bottle of champagne. I am just fine with a $15 bottle of wine. And investing the $285 difference in my Roth IRA. Specifically, in a 500 index fund.

ANYA’S MATERIALISTIC WAYS 

Willow: “It stole Giles’ car.”
Xander: “Why would a demon steal a car?”
Anya: “Why would a demon steal THAT car?”

ANYA ON CHILD LABOR 

Giles: “Then useful you shall be! We can always use a hand.”
Anya: “But you have a hand. A paid hand. A hand that isn’t the hand of the illegal child labor.”
Giles: “Anya…”
Anya: “But of course it’s wonderful that you find doing my job so distracting! I am unthreatened. Proceed.”

Well, at least she recognizes that it’s illegal.

ANYA ON THE VALUE OF HER TIME

She learned really quick that time is money and did not want to use up her precious energy doing anything that was unrelated to the accumulation of more money. Pretty shallow and self-absorbed, I know.

I value my time as well. I don’t try to do anything that doesn’t excite me. Except when it comes to helping others.

http://jcap.tumblr.com/post/113595460342

SHE GIVES NO F#*K$

http://sunnydale-scoobies.tumblr.com/post/99436418771

ON VALUING HERSELF

Giles: “Essentially, their agenda is the same as ours. They want to save the world and kill demons.”
Anya: “Kill the CURRENT demons, right? CURRENT demons.”

This was funny because Anya is an ex-demon on the show.

ON VALUING HER MONEY 

Anya: “Spike! What are you doing? You made me yell really high!”
Spike: “Hey, yeah, I did. I scared you. Gimme money.”
Anya: “I’m not paying you for scaring me.”
Spike: “You’re not paying me. I’m robbing you.”
Anya: “Oh, well, that’s just ludicrous. You can’t hurt me because you’ve got that chip in your brain. Also, I like my money the way it is… when it’s mine.”

ANYA ON VALUING XANDER’S TIME

She loved her some Xander. But not at first.

http://watcherspet.tumblr.com/post/88524073528

I thought they were great together. He really changed once he had her in his life. She recognized his value too.

Anya: “And after everything you’ve been through with Angel. You really should get yourself a boring boyfriend. Like Xander!”

Anya: “You can’t have Xander.”

LETTING XANDER KNOW SHE VALUES HIM

Anya: “Xander, you haven’t been paying any attention to me tonight. Just peddling those processed food bricks. I don’t know why.”
Xander: “Well, let me put it in a way you’ll understand. Sell bars, make money, take Anya nice places, buy pretty things.”
Anya: “That does make sense. All right, I support you. Go sell more.”

ANYA AND THE GAME OF LIFE

When Anya finds out her love of money is hilarious. In the Season 5 episode, “the real me”. Xander and Anya are babysitting Dawn and they are playing the game of Life when Anya figures it all out:

ANYA ON VALUING CHILDREN
We believe the children are our future

“Can I trade in the children for more cash? ”

http://chylerleigh.tumblr.com/post/91487927405

When playing the game of Life, she noticed she was burdened with a husband and children and tons of cash.

Once she learned that money was good, she gleefully delighted in saying she wanted more cash.

Anya: “Crap! Look at this–now I’m burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage.”
Xander: “That means you’re winning.”
Anya: “Really?”
Xander: “Yes, cash equals good.”
Anya: “Ooh! I’m so pleased. Can I trade in the children for more cash?”

Check it out here.

While it may have been cold and callous to want to give up the fake kids for cash, she did have a valid point in understanding that a having a family requires money and are a heavy load to bear. So, you better prepare for them.

ANYA ON CAPITALISM 

Anya: “I’ve recently come to realize that there is more to me than just being human. I’m also an American.”
Giles: “Yes, I suppose you are, in a manner of speaking. I mean, you were born here — your mortal self.”
Anya: (to Giles whose from England she says in a harsh tone) “Well that’s right, foreigner!” (to Willow & Xander in a softer tone) “So I’ve been reading a lot about the Good ‘Ol Us of A, embracing the extraordinarily precious ideology that has helped to shape and define it.”
Willow: “Democracy?”
Anya: “Capitalism!”

HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT MONEY

That one time when Buffy asked how was Anya’s money and her  reaction of pure joy. Like, one of the Scoobies finally gets her.

Look, I like money fine, but not as much as Anya.

I prefer people over things.

Anya was downright humdrum when it came to talking about money. Although, she was funny, at times she just lacked sympathy and empathy for the plight of others.

However, in the end, she chose to fight beside the Scoobies. So, people really did matter more than money. That is something we should all remember.

Introducing the $100,000 bottle of water

This $100,000 bottle of water costs as much as a house in some parts of the country. Heck, even the world!

Thirsty? Well, this bottle of H20 will only cost you $100 grand. You heard me. $100k! Yes, that’s USD.

That’s the most expensive sip of water I have ever heard.

What if I accidentally spill it? Oh, to perish the thought!

I was sure it was a joke. Like how Jokey the Smurf brings you a present and then you find out it’s a gag gift. You know, something like that.

I can’t even fathom parting with that much cash for something you could get for free out the tap at home or at any restaurant.

Who are the marketing geniuses who thought of this? Who is the target market? What are the demographics?

Who in their right mind would pay $100k for some water?!!

WHO WILL BUY $100K BOTTLE OF AQUA?

Fine. I’ll bite. Who are they?

I guess you could say this water is targeted at a high-end clientele. Those that have pockets so deep, that smacking down that type of scratch is no problem, as all they have to do is whip out their Centurion Black Card. Swipe, sign, and done.

The company actually got rapper 2 Chainz and DJ Diplo to taste the water. They have both sold millions of albums. So, sure you could market to them. Market to the affluent is a must at this price point.

If you don’t have to bat an eyelash at this type of transaction, then good for you.

The rest of us reasonable mere mortals are not buying it. Where did this water come from?  Is it magic water from the fountain of youth? Will it heal all maladies or whatever ailments you have. Basically, will it cure what ails you and eliminate the need for the ever increasing cost of healthcare?

Could I rub it and make 3 wishes?

Like in the show Gargoyles, this isn’t Aladdin’s lamp. All things have their limitations. Even the character called Puck agrees with me. Check it out 30 seconds in.

Water can quench your thirst, clean you, keep you healthy and alive, and that’s about it.

MAKERS OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF WATER IN THE WORLD

The company is called Beverly Water. They are located in Beverly Hills, California.  The water is called Beverly Hills 90H20. It is crafted spring water from the California Mountains.

Coined “The Most Expensive Bottle of Water in the World,” is clearly meant to entice people with deep pockets that this is a must have item.

Here is the description that I posted on their website:

Description

“The Most Expensive Bottle of Water in the World”

Limited to only nine bottles in the world, the Diamond Edition of the Luxury Collection of Beverly Hills 9OH2O is the ultimate in water.  Designed by Jeweler to the Stars Mario Padilla, each exquisite bottle features a white gold cap set with over 600 G/VS white diamonds and over 250 black diamonds, totaling 14 carats.  Each bottle comes in a custom secured presentation case together with four engraved Baccarat crystal tumblers, and it is presented in person by renowned water sommelier Martin Riese at a private water tasting anywhere in the world.  In addition, the Diamond Collection package includes a one year supply of the Lifestyle Collection of Beverly Hills 9OH2O.

THE MOST EXPENSIVEST SH*T

There is a video posted of 2 Chainz and Diplo getting a tasting of the water from a, get this, water sommelier. It turned out as expected. Neither care to buy $100k bottle of water. Why you ask? It’s simple. It’s just water!

After, introducing the water to the two gentlemen, which is housed in a massive case, you get the feeling something is seriously off here.

Then comes reality.

THE $100,000 DOLLAR QUESTION

2 Chainz asked what everybody wants to know, “What are you paying $100,000 for?”

The white-gloved sommelier then points at the bottle cap.

You are not really paying for the water, but what the water comes in and with.

Which is a 14 real diamonds, 600 white ones, 250 black diamonds, and white gold.

For this diamond luxury experience, you’re getting the case, and 4 diamond baccarat glasses.

After I stopped laughing hysterically, I started reading the comments on the video.

The hands-down and absolute funniest part after watching the video is reading the comments section.

MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY

Here are just some of the comments I saw that popped out at me.

Imagine how disappointed you were if you paid $100k for this bottle thinking its vodka

MBA lesson right here

If you can convince someone to buy a bottle of water for $100k. You deserve that $100k.

I will put some tap water in a bottle and sell it for 500k!

Marketing and BS.

Ima stick with my Aquafina😂😂😂

I’m no mathematician, but that’s more than 2 chains.

For those who didnt catch it, you are not paying 100k for the water. You pay 100k for the Diamonds and the gold on the Cap.

The glasses the diamonds and the case cost 99,999 and the water 1$

0$ water … 100k bottle cap

Man, that water better have the power to cure all diseases for that kind of price. 100K seriously???

I better become a mermaid after taking a sip for 100k

100k for a bottle of water? That sh*t better bring Jesus and 2pac back.

Meanwhile in Flint, Michigan…

This water better come from the fountain of youth.

Bottle of air 2billion dollars

One person put my exact thoughts, as I described above, into an elegant rebuke of buying water this freaking expensive.

MadeInVolantis 2 years ago

For 100k that water better turn me 18 again. For 100k that water better cure my thirst forever. For 100k that water better wash me of my sins. For 100k that water better make me a million dollars back somehow.

Well said.

Basically, it’s a $100k jewel-encrusted capped bottle with water inside.

Let’s think about this for a second. What could you do with one hundred thousand dollars? I’m about to tell you.

YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN BUY A DIAMOND CAPPED BOTTLE OF WATER

You could do all types of things with that kind of money. These are just some suggestions.

WHAT YOU COULD DO WITH $100,000

  • Start a college fund for underprivileged kids
  • Put every dime in the market and get historical ROI average of 7%; be a millionaire in 30 years (there goes that million bucks the commenter above was talking about)
  • Start a business
  • Donate $1,000 to 100 charities
  • Donate $10,000 to 10 charities

WHAT WOULD BE FUN TO DO WITH $100,000

  • Rent out a blimp over your old college campus, get $100,000 worth of ones and make it rain
  • Go to Vegas, rent out the Penthouse of an expensive hotel , and bet 10,000 on black
  • Get on a plane to Dubai, UAE, fly first class on the Emirates and visit every attraction
  • Visit Rome, Paris, China, London, and Australia just to get a keychain
  • Get back stage and front row passes to see your favorite artist in concert
  • Enter a professional poker tournament with a $10,000 buy-in
  • Walk up to anyone of the people collecting for the salvation army and give them a check for $25,000 (kind of like that scene in the movie Ghost)

Great scene. You will love it. No need to thank me for uploading it here.

If you have never seen the movie, then I highly recommend it.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO WITH $100,000

  • Donate 10% to charity
  • Put a down payment on a piece of property
  • Pay off all or a large portion of your debt
  • Invest in the stock market like the S&P 500 index
  • Pay cash for college
  • Buy a car outright
  • Invest in your health

If you want to impress people, just show up to their events on-time and don’t complain.

And if you just so happen to get thirsty, stick with VOSS, Evian, or Deer Park. Can’t go wrong.

That’s just my $0.02, er ehh, I mean $100k money saving tip of the week.