Financial independence is the ability to live from the income of your own personal resources. – Jim Rohn
Reading headlines in the news about how boomerang kids are returning home in droves is quite alarming.
When I was growing up, I saw lots of young adults leave home and never return. They got jobs and worked their way up to where they were trying to go.
However, a couple decades have changed all that.
One of the biggest culprits: student loans.
The cost of college has outpaced inflation. Therefore, it is now up to families to find affordable ways to get a college degree.
Otherwise, your kids may just end up back in your basement, or worse, in their childhood rooms that they could hardly keep clean when they were debt-free teenagers. Gulp!
The reason that so many millennial’s need parental assistance in paying their rent is because they shoulder the bulk of the $1.4 trillion in student loan debt.
However, borrowing or taking out deposits from the bank of Mom and Dad is not a good idea and can have lingering consequences for the parents as well as the kids and future generations.
Here are the reasons why young adults should stop relying on their parents and become independent as fast as they can.
FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE WILL TAKE LONGER TO REACH
We are living in a time when more people discuss this phenomenon called FIRE (financial independence retire early).
Although, this should be taken with a grain of salt, as many people will need to save 50% or more of their income for a decade or two to make this dream a reality. And that is not always possible or feasible to do, to say the least.
That being said, the decision is always yours whether or not you retire at 42 or 62. The point is to be able to one day have the option to retire.
When you lean on your parents (the Rents) to pay your bills, it can delay the transition into adulthood.
I have noticed when people have no safety net, they are a lot more resilient and cautious about what they do and spend.
For example, to rely less on Mom and Dad later in life as an adult, you could do the following:
- Live with a couple roommates
- Pick a smaller apartment to live in (say 700 square ft.)
- Go without a car or at least buy a smaller, more affordable one
- Commute to college and save by not paying room and board; therefore, requiring less or no student loans
It seems to be the people that get off their parent’s payroll ASAP are the ones that are able to become financially independent the fastest because they have no other choice.
When the only option is self-reliance, then you learn to live lean really quick. And low fixed expenses are how you will be able to start saving money.
A SUBSIDY SHOULD HAVE LIMITS
For those that may not know, right now the Direct Stafford Loans offer a three-year subsidy (you may have to ask your loan servicer if your loan has this feature) for students entering repayment.
Those funds give graduates time to find suitable employment and create a budget for their lifestyles in order to repay what they owe.
This cushion is a great way to help young people get on more solid financial footing.
What you may or may not have noticed is that there is a three-year window and then it closes shut.
And do you know why? It is because when you offer people a crutch, then unless they have the drive, perseverance, determination and the will to be self-sufficient, they are likely to use the crutch forever.
You have to limit aid, otherwise, people come to rely on it for all their days.
This includes the funds from your parents.
Get off their bankroll as fast as you can, or you may come to depend on it for the rest of your life.
Let’s be honest. Nothing lasts forever. Even milk, has an expiration date.
You would rather have the option of saying no than hearing the words: We’re cutting you off.
RELYING ON SELF GETS BETTER RESULTS
I know that having help is at times necessary to keep a roof over your head. I would not tell parents not to help their children. I am asking children to tell their parents, that they no longer would like their financial assistance.
Therefore, you become the adult or hero in your own life and story.
If you read any number of stories about the rich and successful, you will notice that many did not pull themselves up by their bootstraps, but had just enough help to get things running and then go it alone.
When you allow someone to write you a check, you are also giving them some form of say so in your life. This de facto control you are giving up every time you cash that check, has far reaching and lasting consequences.
You may want to live in SoHo, but the parents say they are only willing to pay for something closer work or at a specific dollar amount. Thereby, giving them more control over your life.
When you write the check, you have all control. You say when, where, and how much.
No need to wait on anyone to give you the green-light or hand you the money. You can make decisions for yourself and might I add, faster than if you had to wait for help or other form of assistance.
Thereby, causing you to not miss opportunities because you can say yes without having to check in with anyone else.
You can say yes to that job, internship, business opportunity, apartment lease, car purchase, or vacation.
Just something to think about.
INDEPENDENCE IS ATTRACTIVE
Independence, especially financial independence, is attractive.
When you are an adult, you do not have to tell anyone you are one.
They can see it in your actions.
Are you out at the bar every night? Or are you at home, working on that new app your developing to earn enough money for a down payment on a house?
Do you spend with reckless abandon? Or are you cognizant of what you are spending, and where your money is going?
People are drawn to confident people. It is an attractive quality. They say like attracts like.
Nothing exudes confidence like someone who is in control of their money and time.
Are you looking for a partner? If so, ask yourself what qualities are you looking for in one.
For instance, do you want someone who buys everything in three’s, likes to lease cars, and maxes out their credit cards every month?
If the answer is no, then you may want to make sure you are not doing any of those things as well.
Everyone wants to date up, but they forget that they too need to get themselves together in order to attract someone worthy of their time and vice versa.
When you are independent, people want to be around you. You attract jobs, opportunities, people, and money when you have your own.
GENERATIONAL WEALTH INTERFERENCE
The New York Times has reported that 40% f people in their early 20s receive financial assistance from their parents.
Parents are paying for everything from rent to car insurance.
According to CNBC, this is what parents are paying for.
The problem with this is that every dollar that parents give their children, is money that is not working for them in building their financial house and keeping it secure.
If parents have the money to give their children for a down payment or college education, then I am all for it. By all means, help the kids out.
However, what many kids may or may not know is that Mom and Dad cannot afford some of these expenses.
It is one thing to help someone with a one-time expense, like a down payment on a home.
It is another thing entirely to help pay someone’s rent or mortgage every month with no end or deadline in sight.
Many baby boomers are going into retirement unprepared. Therefore, they usually do not have the funds to give the kids or grand-kids because they need that money themselves.
How do I know? Well, I ask people. And many have said that their are finances precarious and funds are limited. Many give until it hurts. However, it not just hurts them, but also their heirs.
The Sandwich Generation is a generation of people who care for their aging parents while supporting their own children.
By not taking or limiting financial help from parents, it limits the help you may need to give your own parents when you are raising your kids.
Let me share with you this story for some perspective.
I read an article about a man who decided to become writer. While he did pretty well for himself, the family still struggled financially.
This is what happened during the course of their lives:
- His wife quit working and became a stay at home mom
- Their daughters were given the option to go to the private colleges of their choice, even though the family could not truly afford it
- His father helped them pay for college for the kids; thereby, making him forfeit any future inheritance for him or his children for the sake of present conveniences
- They also paid for their two daughters weddings out-of-pocket, with empty pockets
- His wife has been out of the workforce so long she is unable to find reasonably paid work
- He works 7 days a week
- They have no savings and NO RETIREMENT
From the example above, you can see how paying for present pleasure or not planning for expenses can harm you and your family down the line.
This is scary stuff. Their inability to say no and set firm limits on what they were willing to spend has caused long-term consequences. They may have to rely on their children for financial assistance in their old age as opposed to passing on wealth.
I urge you to reconsider.
Let this post be your wake up call. A call to arms, if you will. A call to financial arms. To arm yourself with financial knowledge, so that nothing can stop you from working toward your goals and building a solid financial future; independently.
